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Leading By Example @9:35 pm

Leading By Example

By Alvin Chia

Over the years of my working with children, I am led to the conclusion that children often have a role model in mind. Children tend to impersonate this “cool” image and individual. This role model may often be an actor, sometimes a cousin or a tutor and many times even their own father. This behavior is perfectly normal unless a boy is trying to impersonate a woman.

As children, they possess much insecurity that adults do not have. Boys may face bullying and face fear of being unable to socialize with other children of his age group. They also are in the process of character evolution. Parents should spend as much time as possible with their children. A father should often tell his son of his boyhood exploits and also remind him how a real man should behave. A lack of interaction with parents will simply result in a child being unable to fully grasp how to handle many social situations; a bullied child may imagine himself to being the “Terminator” and confront his nemesis with often disappointing results.

A child facing a new social situation, perhaps it could be in the form of interacting with the opposite gender. As such situations are often new and could be scary to a boy who has social anxiety. If parents are not firmly there for their children during this stage of character building, the boy or girls may turn to advice from their equally ignorant friends and start behaving in a manner often displeasing to parents. They may also turn to the television or their favourite drama and try to impersonate the characters in the television who are so successful on screen in making friends.

Parents who do not spend time with their children and citing reasons as working hard should explore their priorities. Children are our best investment and gift for the future. As parents we must be prepared to take the leading role in teaching children how they should behave. Every mistake and pain we have experienced in life is merely a lesson for us to impart to our children so they never have to experience the pains we have gone through.

Ever so often a parent would punish a child for his wrong ways but the parent should also reflect if he has ever taught a child why this and that can and cannot be done. Children are still finding their paths in this world. A parent should render all support and be there and not just keep scolding or nagging.

The best is always to lead by example.

Alvin Chia is the winner of the successful entrepreneur award. He is the founder of several award winning  tuition and academic centers and continue to work with children with 14 years of experience under his belt. He can be contacted at erdnase666@yahoo.com.sg

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